Wednesday, September 29, 2010

And then



And then there will be guys who make my heart skip a beat,
there will be guys making it to my blog and diary entries,
there will be guys who have dedicated folders on my desktop, full of pictures,music and movies which feature them,
there will be guys who's pictures will be cut out from newspapers and magazines,
there will be guys I'll ogle with my friends,
there will be guys I'll doodle about at the back of my notebooks,
there will be guys who will be the topic of endless gossip and stupid phone calls,
there will be guys who i like watching just coz they look like greek gods,
there will be guys i'll flirt guys wid just to keep myself occupied,
guys I'll smile at just to be polite,
guy's I'll listen to just coz i like their sexy voice,
guy's I'll fool around with just to have fun.

And then there always will be You.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

i know



i know you still look for me.

in random parking lots.
in theaters and shopping malls.
restaurants and coffee shops.
on the road sometimes when your waiting for the red light to go green.
you go upto women who look like me only to find out that they are not me.
you squint to see who's driving whenever you see a car like mine.
you scan your mail inbox for my name.
you pick up incoming calls from unknown numbers expecting it to be me.
you scan the faces whenever you board a flight.
your last drawer still has my things and the things that remind you of me.
you eat the things i used to like to eat,even though you don't like them.

i know you still find me.

in music and movies that you know i love.
in the softness of your pillow.
in places we used to hangout in.

its okay.
its okay to look at my picture and hate me.


i know you'll be okay.
i know you'll get through.

sometimes i wish i didn't know.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

sometimes i see the ants...how they are in such a hurry all the time...running like mad.
for what??
for food.
to and fro between the same two points.

and all i think at that time...i don't want to live like an ant.

Last Words

"I must tell you something I learned the hard way in life.
Some dreams come with deadlines.These are the deadlines you must really make in life.
In spite of everything going on in your life, never compromise on your dreams.Be selfish, think of a way, recognize the excuses.
Your dreams are your babies,take care of them,nobody else will.They speak a language that only you understand, you need to listen closely because they are the voices of your soul.
Some dreams come with an expiry date, use them before that date.Someday unfulfilled expired dreams will be the poison that kills you.
And yes,laugh.The world can't be all that bad a place till chocolate ice cream's there."

i was in love with someone like you...not you.

i took some fragments of my imagination and took some pieces of you...i lived in that picture...i knew that it wasn't real...and one day i realized how much little that picture was made from you....and so i let you know...and so i let you go.

yes,I'm sorry.
yes.I'm still in love with that person.
yes,he's not you.

Graffiti


"you think all mess...the dirty torn jeans..the loose t-shirts...the messy hair...the the nerdy glasses...make you look unattractive.
i have news for you baby...you're fucking beautiful to me."

Monday, September 13, 2010

And the prize I want is...YOU


One day
You’ll forget where you live
You’ll forget your messy room
The patterns in the paint on the walls,
The shapes on the plaster on the roof you talk to sometimes when you’re all alone
The routes of ants you know about, from where they come to where they go
The baby lizard you don’t mind hanging around in the room in spite of the fact that lizards make you squeamish
You’ll forget the feeling of being short of money
Of reading menus from left to right
You’ll forget the fantasies that you dream on the bus everyday
You’ll stop ogling the cars you like and lusting for gadgets you can’t afford
You’ll never have to think about the dirty dishes and the dirty laundry
You’ll never have to carry that bag pack and look for things in its chaos all the time
You won’t have to sought out jumbled earphone wires before listening to music
you’ll forget how much your roomate’s ring-tone irritates you every single time somebody calls her

You’ll forget what it feels like to do something you don’t like or even give a damn about
You’ll forget what it feels like to yearn for time to do something you’re passionate about, something that makes you happy
You’ll forget what it feels like to be guilty for messing up things because you were scared
You’ll forget the feeling of waking up to promises you couldn’t keep
You’ll forget the feeling of owing
The debts you’re trying to make
The risks you fear won’t pay

One day everything will be okay
ONE DAY LIFE WONT BE A THINGS TO DO LIST
It won’t be about the little things that bother you right now
Or even if the list is still there
Something will be written next to number one
That something will be –Him

That one day
You can call the adrenaline rush you get every time you see him
The palpitation when he smiles at you
The dopamine flood in your system when he’s around
More than chemical and physical reactions….something more than attraction.

Till then...hold on...hoping...that someday you'll make it to his list.

Friday, September 10, 2010

i have heard that the docs pump your stomach when they want to remove the poison.
can somebody pump my head...flush out the memories?
can some dialysis machine remove this from my blood?
can something..someone...make this go away?

and then i wonder that if i must waste my life someway...i'd rather waste it on you.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


YOU NEED TO STOP
thinking that the tree on the road with white flowers is your friend.

YOU NEED TO STOP
listening to the woes of your landlady everyday,
intently listening and imagining the pain of her sick mother, her history of abuse that her mother-in-law dealt her, abuse that her husband still deals her..you need to stop killing your appetite by imagining horrors and pain of people.

YOU NEED TO STOP
writing in a handwriting that's not yours
eating breakfast as lunch and lunch as dinner

YOU NEED TO STOP
reading yesterdays newspaper today
reading soaked newspaper when you forget to pick it up before it rains
reading horoscopes just to mock them

YOU NEED TO STOP
being so dromophibic
considering ant murder as bad karma
assuming children with missing front teeth are innocent

YOU NEED TO STOP
lifting your leg when you are happy
jumping around when your happy
giggling on weird pitches when you are excited
showing it on your face when your sad or mad
getting bored so easily