Dear Mam,
So many times I have wanted to call you, last teacher’s day I did try but I wasn’t lucky and the line was busy.
I thought of emailing you but my heart doesn’t feel it’s the best way…so here I am doing it the best way I know…because it has to be the best way for you, Mam.
Where am I writing to you from…its some engineering college, somewhere in Punjab…I'm in 3rd yr of my four year B.tech degree program, I’m doing okay.
It’s funny how even after years of being out of school I still have something like a school time bio clock running within me...subconsciously…in March I still get the feeling of something new beginning…in May I find myself happy for no reason sometimes humming hymns about Mother Mary(just the first stanzas with words forgotten but the tunes still intact )…in June I thank the Gods for my now Half yearly free birthdays(24th June)…and boy o boy then comes July…the time when I feel the bio-clock the most…I find myself craving for poetry…most of it now comes from the music I listen to now(I find myself unusually digging deep into meanings which sometimes I'm pretty sure even the writer must have not have given thought into while writing the song),I read blogs which have poetry, go surfing on the net for anything that satisfies this craving...
Then comes the autumn...the happiest season…the season of the annual concerts…I'm sharp, I'm funny, I’m active ….also I'm reading some good books, watching some good movies…
Somewhere in the middle of it comes 5th September…teachers day… the day’s a joke in my college(nothing but an excuse to bunk lectures)…but somewhere in between the cynicism…I still find myself remembering you…
I had been gobbling up things till you made me taste them …you made me taste so many things in life.
You made me taste literature, poetry…things I still get really bad cravings for.… even though I'm in a totally technical field now…
You made me taste elocution and other forms of public speaking….dramatics…and most importantly enjoy the taste of it…like it…love it.
I guess its not just literature, public speaking, dramatics after all….somehow it all becomes a part of inspiration…inspiration that drives people in their lives…makes them believe and hope.
Apart from what you taught me, You inspired me, you believed in me, you encouraged me…I did things which I was not even aware I was capable of doing… you taught me to always to hold my head high…whether I walked up on the stage to deliver a speech or… I walked in life.
I remember your angelic voice…it still reads the most beautiful things to me sometimes…
November sets in,14th is not our day anymore…we’re not children anymore, we’re students…just students(or to-be engineers if u please)...I’ll remember the T.H children days how funny the performances were and laugh to myself(my friends will think I'm going a little insane but who cares)…then its time to shut up and concentrate on studies…December brings more of studying…January is a relief and happy holidaying…February is nice but mostly a wait for March.
I sometimes wonder why am I still in ways so stuck in the past. Why doesn’t this bio-clock go away? It scares me to think I'm still subconsciously living my school life…but then I calm down…I know I'm living in the present…life wouldn’t be so real if I wasn’t.
The bio clock doesn’t go away because it is so deeply embedded in my soul by the pure happiness and sheer joy of the experience of my school life. The bio clock is an impact so strong that it runs through me even today...This impact is so strong because of you and some other very special people in my life…and I feel so lucky to have you all in my life…so blessed…so thankful.
Thank you mam…thank you so very much.
p.s:. Sincere apologies for my degraded writing skills…I know this letter sounds like a culinary discussion somewhere in the middle (guess I was a little hungry when I wrote it ;-p) but I really hope that this disillusioned piece of writing gets across my message that.. In some college, somewhere...for somebody…some things will never change…I absolutely remember you.