May be I don’t know what I want
Or may be I know it too well…

notes from my cell phone (probably gonna delete thm so thought il put thm here)
Monday morning dark blues,e003 e block i.e.t bhaddal
Dirty jeans,half tied shoelaces,hair that make no sense,specs last rescued from dont noe where..cleaning them and wondering weather its the specs that are unclean or my vision going bad again...
was it th food i ate last nite,was it the sleepless hours i spent listening t music which didnt helps either,was it the shock i woke up wid again way past time 2 wake up..brushed my teeth half asleep..pee..shit..wash my hands and stare at th running water...find my towel if it still exists,,find my undergarments if they didnt get chucked by the kleptos n th hoostel..bathe wid cold water...emerge numb...find a clean t-shirt,sunscreen,deo..n then no tim for breakfast,locating note books and incomplete files last dumped don noe wer wich room f th hostel..pens..dont noe whos is th one m writing wid 2 day..nd wether it will wrk wen th lecturer dictates or weather il jst hav t fake it again nd write wid invisible ink turn my page wen sum i actually writin does..phone wid dying battery...
headache coz im hungry,headache wont let me listen t th teacher,headache coz i didnt sleep well last nite,headache coz my friends cant get wat i feel rite..headache hw badly i wanna feel alright..headache i wish i had spoken 2 som1 abt ths last time..headache as f i gt drunk last nite..headache tht driving all hopes frm my life (damn the sunshine blinding my eyes)..headache coz every1 thinks im alrite..headache coz sumthings killing me inside.....
headache coz i wish my dreams hadnt died..nw i dont even wonder wat will happen in my life..headache wer did i lose my friends sight...damn th headache,damn th reasons tht make no sense t me nw..
headache i wish i cud lie in fresh white snow..headache i dont noe y im here..i hate th reasons tht im here..i hate it even more coz none f thm make ani sense 2 t me animore...its official...life is defintely screwed,somethings definetely wrong.