I do not noe from were to begin..ther is so much to tell
I do not noe were it starts or wer it ends
Before the diaries get lost or burned,
Before the ink fades into oblivion,
I shall write it here if I can and make it immortal for my sake and yours
Before some1 comes and wakes me up from this slumber in which I dream
Before u and I grow up and bid farewell to this insanity and become normal
Hear me..and Il hear u..and in the hearing and the speaking of nonsense
Let us discover the unspoken words, the implied meaning and sense f our nonsense.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
why write????
Who am I? I am you in so many ways and in so many other way I am only me.
I am out in a world were the hardest thing I am finding to do is to remember who I am. I have been through a time were I became something I never wanted to become and the worst part is,it made me forget who I was in the first place. Immersed in darkness of the question of who I am and the purpose of my life, Immersed in the darkness of loss..loss of my faith,loss of direction, loss of conviction, with so many questions springing to mind at once that they all become indistinguishable, the answers are within me but I can reach them only if I reach myself, I feel worse than a person with amnesia. I can only reach myself if I stop being afraid, I can only stop being afraid if I face what scares me, get out what my being wants to scream out loud and break free of the shackles of the hate, jealousy and callousness. Guilt and blame can ruin so much of your time and your life.
i am tired, tired of this slumber, tired of waiting for someone to come and show me the way .im tired of closing my eyes to some things which some believe I should not see, some things that the fear inside me makes me shut my eyes tight and turn my head away, but over the time I have realized you cant walk away from something that walks within you, it does not stalk you but you stalk it, because you’ve never had the courage to overtake it and face it and find the answers to the questions that wont let you walk light.
I have run out of excuses. Excuses that let you lie in the comfort of denial, excuses to let you sleep when its way past time to get up. Excuses of the dangerous kind, lies we tell ourselves, worse than lies others tell us. Lies so beautiful to look at, the reality so grim and hopeless. I try to hold on to the reality but it stifles the air out of me until I let go and go back to the slumber of denial, so I write, because when I write I am cornered. When I write my conscience which won’t ever give up on me, tells me to slow down and have a calm talk. A talk were I realize I know all the answers, I talk were the problems that worry me all day long have ready and creative solutions, a talk that brings forth matters far more serious and worth thinking about than the trifle worries of the day.
I am out in a world were the hardest thing I am finding to do is to remember who I am. I have been through a time were I became something I never wanted to become and the worst part is,it made me forget who I was in the first place. Immersed in darkness of the question of who I am and the purpose of my life, Immersed in the darkness of loss..loss of my faith,loss of direction, loss of conviction, with so many questions springing to mind at once that they all become indistinguishable, the answers are within me but I can reach them only if I reach myself, I feel worse than a person with amnesia. I can only reach myself if I stop being afraid, I can only stop being afraid if I face what scares me, get out what my being wants to scream out loud and break free of the shackles of the hate, jealousy and callousness. Guilt and blame can ruin so much of your time and your life.
i am tired, tired of this slumber, tired of waiting for someone to come and show me the way .im tired of closing my eyes to some things which some believe I should not see, some things that the fear inside me makes me shut my eyes tight and turn my head away, but over the time I have realized you cant walk away from something that walks within you, it does not stalk you but you stalk it, because you’ve never had the courage to overtake it and face it and find the answers to the questions that wont let you walk light.
I have run out of excuses. Excuses that let you lie in the comfort of denial, excuses to let you sleep when its way past time to get up. Excuses of the dangerous kind, lies we tell ourselves, worse than lies others tell us. Lies so beautiful to look at, the reality so grim and hopeless. I try to hold on to the reality but it stifles the air out of me until I let go and go back to the slumber of denial, so I write, because when I write I am cornered. When I write my conscience which won’t ever give up on me, tells me to slow down and have a calm talk. A talk were I realize I know all the answers, I talk were the problems that worry me all day long have ready and creative solutions, a talk that brings forth matters far more serious and worth thinking about than the trifle worries of the day.
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