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Unlearning is the toughest process.

Unlearning a habit, an attitude, a mind set is more challenging than taking up a new one.

Unlearning to love someone is harder than falling in love.

No, it is not adapting, or changing for the better. It is about forgetting who you are and redefining yourself.

Yes, you have to compromise. Replace yourself and be okay with it. Euphemism,”embrace change.”

The world belongs to people who unlearn.

There are distinct moments in life when you get a choice. A choice between honesty and lies.

A choice between love and lust. A choice between taking up responsibility and walking away. A choice between actually giving a damn or apathy. A choice between believing and not believing.

There are no middle paths. Life fazes out the distinction between these choices. It will try its best to camouflage these distinct moments with all the other nonsense.

There are no wrongs or rights to these things, but there is always an easy way and a tough way. A shorter way and a longer way.

If something you do can be digested by your conscience, eat it. If something you do doesn’t, well digest it this one time and try not to eat it again.

There will be some shit in your life. Get it out. And flush.

The world belongs to people who flush.

There will always be questions. There will always be possibilities and scenarios. There will always be insecurities. There are no absolutes to life. No perfections other than what you create.

If you have people who are like your sun block, quietly and transparently protecting you when you are out playing in the scorching mid day sun you are indeed lucky.

Love is a simple personal question. Stop complicating the answer. Art complicates love to market life. Find something that you want, create something that you want. Remember that the ads are not true, the standards they set are not real. No matter how beautiful it is, at the end of it they’ll call it nothing but foreplay.Don’t listen to them.

The world belongs to people who don’t listen.

There is this invisible rubber string with which my mind remains tied to you..the farther I go, the more it stretches, the stronger it snaps back bringing me back to you .

But its okay.If memories can’t be forgotten they can be pushed into the back with better ones.

I will beat every memory that we made with a better one.

It’s a typical winter morning…white and cold…and I'm still in bed thinking of reasons good enough to get out of bed…I have been like this...wide awake...for more than two hours now….you could say I'm blessed that I have the time and the luxury to do this….to just lie dreaming and thinking about things in my cozy bed…but I know in my heart it isn’t…thoughts and dreams do not replace action…thinking about living a certain way and actually doing things are two separate heavenly bodies with the former being the natural satellite of the latter…like the earth and the moon…and no matter how beautiful living on the moon seems to me the truth is that there is no air to breathe there…I cannot live there…I belong to the earth and its time.

Its like when all the forces in my life that are at war with each other have got tired and forgetting their differences have all come together at the end of the day for a chat and a drink.They are all loose and emotional and they are revealing their darkest secrets to each other and while they rant I look on and smile , I see Time who is sitting right next to me…looking on and smiling too.

I like talking to Time….mainly because the guy knows about everything that’s going on in my life right down to the details…he never has an advice or opinion to offer but he’s a fair guy…I like talking to him. We talk about random stuff and after we’ve finished our drink I sigh and say what I'm not supposed to say to him, ”What happens next????”…he gives me smile and disappears…leaving me wishing that I hadn’t asked him that… I was having such a good time with him and now I miss him already.

While I sit alone I realize and wonder how much choice do we really have in life????
I cannot choose the people I love…believe me…it’s an illusion if you think you do.
I cannot choose the people who love me.
I cannot choose what I like or dislike…it is my nature…it is what it is…who I am.
I’ve lived in an illusion all my life that I have been choosing things…making conscious decisions but the truth is everything has actually been choosing me all the this while.
It is a little disturbing… yet it doesn’t make me feel powerless over my life…it strangely empowers me…calms me.

Life is not complicated….its just really curly right now……and its okay…it is actually beautiful … like my curly morning hair. As the day goes on maybe they’ll straighten out on their own…and even if they don’t…I don’t care…I like them this way anyway.

i was in love with someone like you...not you.

i took some fragments of my imagination and took some pieces of you...i lived in that picture...i knew that it wasn't real...and one day i realized how much little that picture was made from you....and so i let you know...and so i let you go.

yes,I'm sorry.
yes.I'm still in love with that person.
yes,he's not you.

YOU NEED TO STOP
thinking that the tree on the road with white flowers is your friend.

YOU NEED TO STOP
listening to the woes of your landlady everyday,
intently listening and imagining the pain of her sick mother, her history of abuse that her mother-in-law dealt her, abuse that her husband still deals her..you need to stop killing your appetite by imagining horrors and pain of people.

YOU NEED TO STOP
writing in a handwriting that's not yours
eating breakfast as lunch and lunch as dinner

YOU NEED TO STOP
reading yesterdays newspaper today
reading soaked newspaper when you forget to pick it up before it rains
reading horoscopes just to mock them

YOU NEED TO STOP
being so dromophibic
considering ant murder as bad karma
assuming children with missing front teeth are innocent

YOU NEED TO STOP
lifting your leg when you are happy
jumping around when your happy
giggling on weird pitches when you are excited
showing it on your face when your sad or mad
getting bored so easily

post midnight thoughts

I dont know what time is it..the incorrect clock in the room reads 1.45am…my body clock says it must be around 3.00am…I cannot sleep..
I'm flushed and my feet are ice cold…I keep clutching my head coz it pulses with pain…the posterior side of the brain feels like tonne…iv run my fingers through my hair so many times that they are sorted out just as if I had brushed them…there’s a dog crying somewhere…
I'm not confused, I'm not angry…I'm in wonder…at myself.
I'm in wonder that how some things which were so complicated few hours ago seem so simple and clear to me now…I'm in wonder how can I be such a dumb and a sensible person at the same time…how come the person who makes the most unwise choices is the person who comes to the most prudent judgments and explanations…how can I be so scared and brave at the same time…how can I want something so badly and run away from it at the same time….how can I hate some people and love them at the same time….hw can I be such a contradiction….surely there has to be some mistake…

New Year resolutions

1st January 2010
New Year resolutions
1.To believe that I deserve what I want because the truth is you don't get what you deserve. You get what you think you deserve.
Be proud of yourself, of who you are. Respect yourself. Take care of yourself. There is no greater sin than self abuse.

2.To be happy, peaceful, funny, beautiful…to be me.
To be happy and peaceful I must do the right thing at the right time. I should be true to myself, fulfill the promises I make to myself. Be sincere towards myself. Be honest to myself. I must not lie, I must not cheat. I should remember who I am at all times. work hard, spend myself with the right attitude..keep a constant check on your thoughts and attitude..grow up,act your age,be responsible. Walk alone if you have to but never compromise on who you are, your priorities.
I must be good to others and help others whenever I can, without any expectations, because what I do defines me and what they do defines them.
Small people only want one thing from you:
Someone else to be as small as they are.
Stay big.
Protect your dreams. Dreams must be ground into bread and the bread eaten.

Stop judging people too harshly.
I must not lose my temper, keep my cool, and be patient. When I'm angry I will not be impulsive. Be focused inside, remember the promises you made to yourself, have faith in yourself.
Believe truly, surrender to it..have faith, trust God.

3.DO NOT BE LAZY. BE COOL BE DISCIPLINED. Plan and follow religiously, your work is your prayer. Do not postpone, it is a sin. Prioritize logically, recognize excuses, set smart goals and achieve them. do not discourage yourself encourage yourself constantly, inner motivation is the key. Envision success and work for it. do not ponder just do it

4.FINISH WHAT YOU START

Starting something great is easy but seeing it through is difficult. just stick with what you start, believe in yourself and do the right things. don’t slack, don’t get discouraged by anything, focus on doing the task well. execution of the plan is the most important. Dreams change the world, but only in dreams. there is no substitute for hard work/smart work.

5. Do not let the past discourage you.
Do not use it as an excuse to spoil your present. use it as a tool to make your life better. accept the experience without resentment or regrets. Mistakes have only one use in life, you learn from them. Have no regrets that you made them but under no circumstances repeat them again. Being perfect doesn’t mean you don’t fail it means that you keep trying until you succeed. Be smart and creative invent ways to dodge the mistakes of the past. focus on the present..its now, it’s your time.
Bullets that miss the mark travel just as fast…you missed once..you cannot miss this time.

6.Keep it REAL, don’t deny the TRUTH
1. You need a comfortable life, you need the money to travel, to write in peace, to live the life you want to. Work for it.
2. Are you committed to your dreams????
They don’t really care about you, you can find Him later. He is not here. Isn’t it enough, hasn’t it harmed you enough??? Your love life can wait, there are more important things at hand. You are at stake. Control the disturbances. Make the wait worth it.
Stop wasting your time and emotions on people who don’t care about you, in the end they will be nothing but distractions….stay away...you stay away, you don’t care ,it won’t hurt. You don’t have to save or change anyone. Grow up. Have faith, if it is so meant to be, he will come to you. Just one year keep the dream alive and safe but just keep it aside.
3.dont blame your circumstances. "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." Take control. Recognize the opportunity you have, recognize the potential. take what you have and make the best of it.
Don’t be so full of the things that you don't have that you don't have space for the things you do.

Don’t blame your parents. You are not your mother or your father, you are not your brother.
You are you, do it your way, do it for yourself.

Don’t blame your college or your teachers. Do it in spite of them, show them who you are , make them remember you.

4. Concentrate on inside, the outside can be managed. Don’t be shallow, and don’t care about shallow people. It’s just one year you can do all you want to do later.

either i cant see anything or i see things crystal clear..
For me life is either awesomely beautiful or totally fucked up and the funny thing is both the things are right here so you cant miss anyone of them...that the reason why most of the times i end up laughing and crying at the same time.

Fighting back in a fight iv already lost…because its never over until its really over.

I miss the way I used to love people; I miss the honesty in that feeling
I miss the way I used to look at people, i miss my perception
I cannot justify the way I am, neither do I apologize

We live in a world where there is no time for second chances or even second glances as a matter of fact
A disapproving world that approves of nothing, its either not enough or not good enough
An unsure world where nothing in is guaranteed,
a world where the essence of life is diluted till we have a lot of everything but very little of what matters
we need to be driven madly blindly like machines to become achievers…inspiration is for foolish dreamers

May be I don’t know what I want
Or may be I know it too well…