Orange juice in a tea cup.A plate with leftover ketchup from the midnight snacking. A switched off phone and another with a dying battery.A lemon post-it on the wall with a things to do list scrawled in a handwriting that doesn't seem like mine.Newspaper with rape stories, people dying stories and people lying stories.A laptop that is everything except mine.Eight tabs on the browser with more comfortably important things to read. Two almost available and five idle friends on the instant messenger.

It's just an itch.

You don't have to do this.You don't have to write.It was a kiddie thing that you used to do.And honestly can you even write anymore? Do you even want to write anymore? Are you absolutely sure?

And honestly what do even want to write about? You don't feel things anymore,you don't see beauty anymore..and yes I mean the over-exaggerated,unreasonably oversensitive approach..the incessant unnecessary histrionics..that throw you into a tumble dry of confused emotions and mostly leave you shaken and numb.You really want to be in a place where a sound,a smell,a picture or some words can make you smile or weep like a kid ? Do you want to give words that power over you? You've been doing so well...you've been coping so well my love...this new you...so sane, so normal... is working so well for you...why go back?

Lets just go read something funny or smart, online or find a new sitcom or a movie to escape to.

Switch on the TV.Nature channel,cartoons,music videos, travel and food shows.No?
Talk to somebody? Flirt? Argue? Or just listen to somebody vent?

Or just read something...anything...classifieds in the newspaper...the ingredients of this ketchup you just consumed...Want to eat some more? Drink some more?

Do whatever you need to do...get yourself your daily dose of dopamine...and some more...quieten your brain....do not write.

It's just an itch.