Waterproofing

And what I hate is that you still keep making your way back into my life.

Everyday feels good in the morning, and just when I'm almost thinking,”…See…your okay…it’s okay..you’re gonna be fine…”,something or the other happens or is doomed to happen.
It’s mostly just a word I hear or read.Sometimes just a sound…a split-second visual.
A person or something random on the t.v or the newspaper or someplace,somewhere I go or just something I eat or drink.
The triggers are always diverse ,casual and unanticipated but they always know how to do their job well.
Leaving me drenched in you.
And in that moment it seems as if time has conspired with the universe and is deliberately unsettling me,by hinting you,suggesting you explicitly yet barefacedly pretending to not know the repercussion it will have in my soul.
But then there are worse days…
Days when time oversteps the line.
Apathetically,in some sort of listless mood, it sends huge things at me.Things that are too obvious to shake off lightly as coincidences,signs that point to you directly, almost touching you and those are the moments in which I almost suffocate and run to the open spaces for air.

And I hold myself up,that its going to just a few more days like this,I'm not the only one,people get over things all the time.
"Be patient.
Memories will blur, realities will blunt.There are urgent matters at hand that need your attention."
And I get up everyday,with chafed skin and bruises from the drag I take every night.
Every time I fall during the day,I get up,I shake the dirt off of me,I wash the dried blood and start again.

Waterproofing every hole in my present so that my past cannot make its way back in.

Waterproofing.