And while i kill this thing we both created...this unreal world of happiness..i can almost see you horrified...and i realize how shamelessly numb i remain..i realize how i have always been like this..i have created the most beautiful things and then ruthlessly self destroyed them...and i thought if i created something not entirely mine...with someone else too in in...someone i truly loved then may be i wouldn't destroy it...but it turns out it doesn't make a difference..it makes things only worse...and while i destroy it i wonder how much of you will i destroy..and for that i am truly regretful...and i stand here sinful and sorrowful.
i can do a couple of things to make you feel better..do a couple of things to make you you feel how crazy i am so that you can tell the next girl you love what a psycho your ex gf was but the truth is im too tired to pull off any drama right now.
I am so sorry that my craziness,my confusions,my issues...and my lack of sensibility and common sense...my cowardice...my screwed up beliefs and ideas has caused and is going to cause( at least fr a couple of days) a lot of inconvenience and discomfort...emotionally.
i am sorry to have wasted your time and emotions for the sake of my curiosity and immaturity.
i need to get back to reality now.
2 comments:
Only if you truly were what you wrote here, I'd have told you that this part might be common in many, including you and me... but alas, this is something I refuse to believe, because if you can think what you might be doing to him, and still be regretful, you are not what you are pretending to be. Its just that you lost interest, you found him nothing different.
Regards,
Blasphemous Aesthete
:) you known that is why i like bloggers..they speak out their minds...blunt honesty.
@you are not what you are pretending to be. Its just that you lost interest, you found him nothing different.
i am trying to believe in that..if i manage...believe me it would be a relief for me.
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