Dear God,
Kill me or help me.

And then

And then there will be guys who make my heart skip a beat,
there will be guys making it to my blog and diary entries,
there will be guys who have dedicated folders on my desktop, full of pictures,music and movies which feature them,
there will be guys who's pictures will be cut out from newspapers and magazines,
there will be guys I'll ogle with my friends,
there will be guys I'll doodle about at the back of my notebooks,
there will be guys who will be the topic of endless gossip and stupid phone calls,
there will be guys who i like watching just coz they look like greek gods,
there will be guys i'll flirt guys wid just to keep myself occupied,
guys I'll smile at just to be polite,
guy's I'll listen to just coz i like their sexy voice,
guy's I'll fool around with just to have fun.

And then there always will be You.

i know

i know you still look for me.

in random parking lots.
in theaters and shopping malls.
restaurants and coffee shops.
on the road sometimes when your waiting for the red light to go green.
you go upto women who look like me only to find out that they are not me.
you squint to see who's driving whenever you see a car like mine.
you scan your mail inbox for my name.
you pick up incoming calls from unknown numbers expecting it to be me.
you scan the faces whenever you board a flight.
your last drawer still has my things and the things that remind you of me.
you eat the things i used to like to eat,even though you don't like them.

i know you still find me.

in music and movies that you know i love.
in the softness of your pillow.
in places we used to hangout in.

its okay.
its okay to look at my picture and hate me.


i know you'll be okay.
i know you'll get through.

sometimes i wish i didn't know.

sometimes i see the ants...how they are in such a hurry all the time...running like mad.
for what??
for food.
to and fro between the same two points.

and all i think at that time...i don't want to live like an ant.

Last Words

"I must tell you something I learned the hard way in life.
Some dreams come with deadlines.These are the deadlines you must really make in life.
In spite of everything going on in your life, never compromise on your dreams.Be selfish, think of a way, recognize the excuses.
Your dreams are your babies,take care of them,nobody else will.They speak a language that only you understand, you need to listen closely because they are the voices of your soul.
Some dreams come with an expiry date, use them before that date.Someday unfulfilled expired dreams will be the poison that kills you.
And yes,laugh.The world can't be all that bad a place till chocolate ice cream's there."